New Review on chapter 1 of The Life and Death of a Culture. 

Fri, June 10th, 2022 11:02am

Death of a Culture

Hi,

An interesting story which held my attention throughout. This could easily be expanded to show the interaction between the defenders and Santa Ana's forces, but it depends upon where you want it to go.

Here a couple of suggestions:

a boy child - perhaps a male child or a boy

In the paragraph beginning with Seventeen hundred suggest a new paragraph beginning with As the sun broke the horizon because the story switches to a specific character, Santa Ana.

In the final paragraph, I suggest another break when the second date is introduced. You can use the date or just say Thirteen days later, 

If you have any questions, just give me a shout. Good luck with your writing journey.

Regards, Randall

(Krzak) (Booksie.com)

Find me on Facebook under Canitapro.com 

also on www.Booksie.com

Now, the Profile...

My first job, which I worked at for eleven or twelve years. Was at a switchboard operated Telephone Answering Service. The owner owned two business one was the Answering Service and the other was a Day Care.  For several year before he died he had me help put together National Child Care Conferences.  I collected over 50 hours of child care training during that time.  Which was also preparation for what was to come.

Two events that continued developing me into who I have become. In 1984 I went to Beaumont, Texas to spend some time with my Aunt Dot.  I remember one very strange day when my Aunt took me to a bible study at the house of an Author.  I do not remember her name only remember her desk and that they prayed over me.  The Author pointed out books she used to prepare her books and other things.  It was extremely strange.  Don't remember the prayers either.  But years later I feel this was another pushing place.

To the right is a picture of a telescopic pointer.  I was given one very similar while visiting an orphanage in Port au Prince, Haiti by a lady named Ollie Jelnick in 1986.  My mother, sisters and I had attended an bible study she taught in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. During that time she taught a lesson on the Twelve Tribes of Israel.  I was assigned Issachar.  

These things lead me to going to Guam in 1988-1991 as a short term missionary as a First Grade teacher.

College at Oral Roberts University in Early Childhood Education and over twelve years of teaching in classrooms.

I like writing about many things so I have not narrowed it down yet, in 2026.

I've also written a short story called "Floating Nursery" which one version is found on Booksie.com along with out short stories and writing attempts at writing contest.

My first writing experience was a creative writing paper in the eighth grade.  The story earned me the English Student of the Year Award.  I believe, it was June of 1974 at Piedmont Public School. The story was written from the viewpoint of toothpick.  The toothpick went from a small piece in the large scheme of a whole piece of wood to being burned in a fire after being used.  Throughout the years I have written poetry; two have been published and one of them was published twice​. 

In January 2015 I chose to pursue writing as a career.  I have worked for years building my portfolio.  I have entered several stories in contest and have gotten positive responses. I began blogging on the website www.hubpages.com and have had over the years updated, moved and added new hubs.

I have sixteen years experience as a secretary/receptionist/bookkeeper, twelve years experience as a teacher of first grade, special education K-8, and two years at a advanced school where I teach 3rd graders 4th grade curriculum.  I also have four years experience in retail in antiques.

It has taken me a while to narrow down what I want to write about, but I get closer all the time.  I enjoy reading historical fiction and that is what I enjoy writing.  I have had a long standing fascination with the  Northern Paiute Indians of Nevada.  I have begun writing short stories in the historical fiction genre' about the Northern Paiute Indians.  I have ​spent many hours reading and researching the  Northern Paiutes and have enjoyed every minute.  I have collected a healthy dictionary of Northern Paiute words and a couple of spiral notebooks of traits and legends. I am in the process of writing a book called The Life and Death of a Culture.    Facebook, Canita Pro, will be the most up to date on the status of the book.  Thank you.

I love learning and teaching, and writing gives the opportunity to do both.   I hope you enjoy reading what I have written.  ​​​​